tattoo/taboo?

my blog is aliveeeeeeeeeeee......

♪ Frankenstein music ♪


only because Im facebook fasting and there's nothing to do in between. lol.

the old layout of this blog looked so dark and dreary, hence the new happier layout :) although there's no guarantee that this blog will be any less emo...

to destress, Ive been watching glee and blog-hopping, plus trying my best to abstain from facebook.

it hasn't been a total success; I've occasionally 'accidentally' clicked on facebook since making that pledge, then spent an amount of time there before literally pulling myself away.

Its some sort of an addiction towards procrastination arghhh!

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there have been a lot of taboos in my life.

things I dont talk about because its awkward to bring up, even when its staring me right in the face.

controversial topics like religion, patriotism, etc; but most of all how certain friendships are suffering in silence, to the extent of fading away.

its much easier pretending that everything is alright, rather than facing the reality of a problem.

I used to get upset at CTH's methods when a problem arose; when he would run headfirst for the door and be in total denial about the issue, leaving me stranded in the problem I had no idea how to face alone.

so is it ironic how its an obstacle in my life now, how I don't talk about real-life issues dangling in front of me?

how I myself am afraid to watch the disappointment in someone's eyes, thus running away on first impulse?

truth be told, I would rather close my own eyes toward a problem than to speak of the blame, anger, and disappointments residing within.

because every fight which results from me acknowledging it always results in that sinking, bitter feeling inside the day after.

on the flip side;

I have learnt how thoughts have a way to turn bitter when left alone in contemplation, when the other party shuts you out and leaves you confused and angry.

and by being in denial in certain scenarios; the bitter thoughts in solitude act like bacteria.

growing and spreading in its unattended stage until it engulfs the whole organism.

until it is too late to contain when the damage is too big.

Im sorry how in my cowardice, I hide behind this blog to speak these words, when I should acknowledge it directly with you, him, and her, etc.

but I am afraid of this hurt inside, of how damaging certain words may be if brought up;

I am afraid of losing myself to these drawbacks inside.

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Taboo #3

The past still gets to me as it does everyone,

I’m terrified for you, for us, love.

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is it me or is this blog going all emo goth again SIGH!

'outdated
but I've missed this <3