Dear dead blog:


2am in the morning and your author is unable to sleep.



In a weird, distorted way, her mind is over-working itself again, indulging in too many thoughts and pondering about life and its inhabitants.



In that same sad way, your author sometimes wonders why she cares so much, followed by continuous beating up (of self by self) for having these doubts.



A young woman aged 21 should be worrying about what to wear, climbing the corporate ladder, Prada sales, etc.



Instead here is your author being a moper, dreamer and philosopher. (rolls eyes)



Here is your author waking up every single day without a clue of how to face the obstacles thrown her way, but is still trying her best, with only God by her side.



Over-sensitive, sentimental, and naive; with countless hopes and dreams and wishes and fears for the future.



In a way, I have missed expressing in you; but not so much the exposure part.



Because I have trouble believing that the world can accept one wholeheartedly, without judging and labeling.



In my life exist irreplaceable people, people who have touched it and left lasting hand prints there.



Yet I have also watched people loved and trusted turn heel and walk away, exposing a side never knew to have existed.



I have listened to words spurned forth in rage, and taken gestures of intentional spite from people who have shared essential parts of my life.



I have doubted and raged at life before, having become the person I am today due to the joys and heartbreaks which have shaped me throughout...






And without wanting to indulge in these thoughts anymore, till the next time I may have the random urge to write in you again, thank you for being a haven for my thoughts and feelings.



Thank you for patiently taking in my random moodswings and loyally displaying my expressive pieces without ever failing me.



Until the next time.



Love, Evie

compromise

and I won’t tell no one your name

so Ive gotten my new babyyyyy :D

Samsung Galaxy 5
(still getting de-noobiefied
with the touchscreen lol)

thanks Dad! <3

am depicting signs of homosexuality now because my RIGHT ear-ring dropped off :( so am currently only wearing on the left side. lol.

my social life is down the drain, alongside the facebook fast I have not gone out except to uni and church.

this Halloween I should go out as I am, some kid is gonna scream at the atrociousness of my eyebags.

these few days have dished me the most random, maddest cravings:

from watching movies to waffles, to trudging through snow fields to ice cold showers, writing poems to building fires, to updating this dead blog etc.

my book of 'to-do's' has been filled up; after the exams I am going out to do what I crave and there will be no such questions as: 'is that feasible?' or 'too expensive?' etc.

starting my internship at Jobstreet on November 15, exams end November 10th;

thus its 5 days to get out and do the many things listed in the 'to-do's'.

Expedition Accomplish 'to-do's on the go! :) :)

**************

after the facebook fast and exams, another whole bulk of ancient photos are sitting in my files to be uploaded.

I had no idea that Picasa linked to previously blogged photos, even if the photos are already deleted and not posted on the blog.

looking at these photographs, everyone looked so.......... happy.

maybe its natural that at every pre-click, everyone puts on their best smile no matter what the situation.

back then, I wonder if we knew that these photographs taken would be the only reminder of how good it used to be.

not being bitter because some friendships were genuinely beautiful;

but its strange to see how some people we thought to be the closest to in the past are only acquaintances now; due to distance, time... whatever the reason.

and how occasionally, the people who used to be in the background are the ones who remain as friends until today.

sometimes I wish I could dive back into the photo: recapture the moment, rekindle the laughter.

take a million more photos to remember that spark, flame alight.

flourish a bit more stupid acts, say a few more words of appreciation;

etc etc etc.

through all this, the greatest and most inevitable culprit is time, with supporting culprits of life and growing up;

I think we forgot it was once beautiful.

********************************

half an hour break up, back to studying sighh :(

light up the sky


Ive just only discovered how to use Picasa! :D

after all these years of noob-ness downloading smaller pictures to blogger LOL.

thank you sincerely for the wishes, smses, calls, facebook comments (although Im still fasting... for now :p), etc.

thank you especially for the calls from overseas, it was wonderful hearing your voices again :)

this year's birthday was supposed to be stuck at home nerding, because exams were in 3 weeks and I had a 40% 4000 word assignment due the Sunday of my birthday week.

so its a wonder these people managed to pull me out and away from the sadness, and was a wonderful time spent even if it wasn't too long spent together.

unfortunately had to miss out on Victor's 21st :( but still managed to hand up the assignment on time!

thanks for the awesome twen-TEENth birthday :) :)

p.s* all tired eyes in pics cos lacking sleep over assignment :(

TGIF's ultimate margarita
who knew the size would be so HUGE!

*no, didnt get tipsy/high/wasted after

standing ground <3 bestie :) thanks for spending the day together even when we were so crazy busy! Skewers thanks Moo for the wonderful planning :) what happened on that day stays at the table... :p Haygee-ah-pee-pee-wai bee-dee-ay-wai! Thanks ms Wrong! :) :) OME-ness :D you girls never fail to make my day, sincerely :) Look-out point! despite the 'ruined surprises', it was a wonderful time :)

Bangsar
yes, this is what assignments
do to you
:p :p :p

surprise surprise!
:) :)


thanks all for making this
an unforgettable 20th birthday!
:D

<3>